Negative

negative

This past week, I had one of those big “smack you in the face” karma moments…Let me explain.

Since I’ve known the definition of teen pregnancy, I’ve been completely against it. I was also against having sex before marriage for the longest time (and boy am I glad  that’s changed). In general, I’ve always frowned upon teenagers and even women in their early 20s getting pregnant. Seriously, just wrap your tool!

And with all of the TV shows nowadays like “16 and pregnant” and “Teen Mom,” young pregnancy has been glorified and presented as a “trend.” I actually heard a story a few years back about a girl that got pregnant at a young age just so that she could audition for “Teen Mom.” Needless to say, she didn’t get the part, and now she’s stuck playing mom without the cameras…what?

And, in my early college years, my roommates favorite TV show was, coincidently, “Teen Mom.” I recall watching it with her and commenting on how stupid all of those girls were. And to this day, my friends and I constantly pick on old classmates from our home town that got pregnant while we were away at school, or right after they graduated college.

So, never in a million years did I think that I would go to the doctor to get a blood pregnancy test. Yes, yes, yes, you might be utterly confused right now, but here’s the deal….I’ve noticed within this past month that my body has been going through some major changes. I’m seeing fat (particularly around my belly area) that has never been there before, and aunt flow hasn’t paid a visit since September. Needless to say, with the constant bloating and missed egg drop, I freaked out.  But, before I went to the doctor’s office, I took three home pregnancy tests within three weeks of each other..all negative. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

Needles to say, the blood test also came back negative. But, I’ll never forget how the doctor’s office made me feel. Coincidently, my mother works at the clinic where I took the test, so registering at the front desk was a bit awkward. The day I took the test, I walked in and Martha was the only woman sitting behind the counter. Now, I knew Martha from the few times that I’ve come for an appointment with my mother, but I also knew that she never remembers who I am.

As I walked up to the counter and gave my last name, a bit of a smile crept across her face. You could tell she was thinking, “Oh, you’re her daughter, how nice.” But, as she opened my chart and saw why I was there, her smile faded. And the way she spoke to me changed. The minute she realized my situation..she wasn’t having it. “Are you in college, or are you employed,” she said with a snarky tone. “Employed..” I whispered. Then, she took down my information and told me to “JUST go downstairs!” I felt like I was in major trouble…like the teacher had caught me talking for the third time in class. I felt so ashamed. I felt like I wasn’t Marsha Brady anymore. I was imperfect because I thought I might be pregnant.

Even when the nurse called to tell me the test was negative, she said, “I’m assuming that’s what you wanted?” Yeesh, thanks for your concern, lady!

So, what did I learn from all of this? You can’t pick on someone if you haven’t been in their shoes. Again, NEVER EVER in a million years did I think I would take a blood pregnancy test. If you’ve ever been in this situation, even if you’re the man and it’s your girlfriend who thinks she’s pregnant, it’s by far one of the scariest times. So many questions run through your head. “If the test comes back positive, what do I do? How do I tell people? What are my next steps?” I mean, what if the girls on “16 and Pregnant” or “Teen Mom” just forgot to take their birth control one day? It happens! We all forget! I actually have a friend who took the morning after pill, and her boyfriend used a condom, and they STILL got pregnant. Not everything works…even if it’s 99.9% effective.

At the end of the day, I think I’m just getting fat because of my desk job…but I definitely know that I won’t be making fun of young moms anytime soon…good grief!

Granny Smith – over and out

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16 thoughts on “Negative

  1. It can be a terrifying experience; my son is the result of an unplanned pregnancy when I was 24. We weren’t irresponsible; but stats aren’t 100% because even when you’re responsible, our bodies can still find a way. They’re built to, for the most part.

    At least I was a graduate student almost finished with a master’s degree, but it was still a terrifying experience from the moment I called a friend and asked her to take me to a doctor for a test (my long distance boyfriend at the time/now ex-husband knew nothing yet) to my son’s premature birth to the current terrors connected with raising a well-adjust child when I’m a divorced mom and a PhD student living in New Orleans and about to be remarried.

    I’m glad the result is what you wanted, but I’m sorry that you were put through hell. This happens to girls, to women, too often. Knowing the difficult choices some women will be making after the results of pregnancy tests, the way that their lives could be forever changes, should inspire compassion and empathy, yet it all too often causes contempt and snark. Humans generally, of course, but women especially, and even more especially women in the healthcare industry (because don’t let them fool you-it is an industry) need to treat one another with empathy.

  2. I think teen pregnancy is a problem as well and I used to be judgemental about it but I don’t necessarily blame the teens’ lack of responsibility so much as a lack of education which isn’t always provided properly (that’s the case in britain, I imagine America may be worse?). One girl I knew had sex and the condom broke during the act but she waited a full day before telling me or seeking emergency contraception. Needless to say I rushed her to the clinic for the morning after pill. A guy I knew didn’t want to go get tested after having unprotected sex even though his partner had sex before. In both situations, I was just like “Whaaa..”. I’ve been abstinent my entire life but protecting myself is fully ingrained in the back of my mind. We need more sex education!

    I’m really disappointed that the woman shamed you like that. Healthcare professionals or admin or whatever have to be more sympathetic and understanding no matter what the situation is. They, more that anyone else, should understand that as you say nothing is 100% effective.

    Anyway, very glad that’s the result you wanted 🙂

  3. ‘This past week, I had one of those big “smack you in the face” karma moments.’ … Yup. And, in my experience, a few more (million) people need just this moment, not that I would “wish”:it on anyone, per se, but some people just think they’re perfect and nothing like it could ever happen to them. In truth, it’s far more likely that they’ve just been lucky.

  4. Becoming a mother before you are physically, emotionally and financially ready is so hard on mother and child. I’m glad for you it’s just something you can work on.

    Teenage pregnancy is a really difficult situation indeed. Why on earth they have a TV show about it is beyond me. Who not have a teenage mum, too tired to even think show instead. That may help prevent other teenage pregnancies.

  5. I got pregnant my junior year in college at 21 and I dealt with the backlash of society and even members of my own family talking about how I wouldn’t amount to anything. Well fast forward 7 years, 2 degrees, a career and a son who skipped a grade level, it’s safe to say I turned alright. That was the best middle finger I gave to those nay-sayers 🙂

    Glad it worked out for you and shame on those women who treated you like crap!

  6. Ms.G.S. Unleashed Welcome to the blogoreffic world of WP.. Thanks you for stopping by and following the Ol’ Dysu. I am always surprised and a little humbled when some one as well spoken and seemingly…more mainstream 🙂 gives my mad ramblings a look-see.
    A very interesting perspective. And well written post. Thank you fer sharing
    Dysu

  7. I know you posted this a while ago but… THIS was such a great post. A good lesson to learn early on but one we often forget… to NOT be so quick to pick up those “throwing”stones cuz ya never know when you’ll be standing in one of those glass houses. Thank YOU for sharing♡

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