Text, Call, FREAK OUT, Repeat

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I’m a worrier by nature. And every time I worry about something, I think of the worst case scenario, and then I start to believe that that’s actually going to happen.

For example, about a week ago, I made plans with my boyfriend, Matt, and a few friends to go to the beach. I told Matt the previous day (via text) that we were all going to meet up at the beach at 1, but that I would stop by his place first to drop off my stuff. That morning came, and I decided to call Matt at 10:30 to let him know when I would be leaving…no answer. At this point, I was fine, he’d probably call me back within an hour. An hour later, no call from Matt, so I called him back…no answer. Finally, it was 12:30. Still not having heard from him, I called again. Nothing! By this point, I was starting to freak out a little because he hadn’t responded the previous day when I texted him our plans…so, that meant I hadn’t heard anything in 24 hours. Who knows what could’ve happened in 24 hours time? My head was racing. Did he even make it home last night? What if someone high jacked his car? What if someone came into his place of work with a gun and everyone at his office was waiting for a hero?

I did the next logical thing and packed my bags and jumped in my car on a quest to find him. I couldn’t help it. Matt is usually really great a communicating with me, so I felt funky when he hadn’t even texted me back. I searched the area around his apartment and couldn’t find him or his car. So, he’s somewhere with his car or someone stole his car and he’s wandering hopelessly on the street, was my thought. Then, I checked the beach, thinking that maybe he’d lost his phone and was waiting for us there. There were so many cars and people as there happened to be multiple festivals going on near the lakefront that day…just my luck. After spending what seemed like years in traffic, I headed to one of his friend’s homes, nope, not there. Then, I texted a few of his other friends, no one had heard from him. I stopped at the mall, and lastly, his office. Nothing. It was almost 4pm.

I called my father and told him that I couldn’t find Matt. I stated that I was coming home and we were going to have to call the police, his parents, or form a search party…something, anything to make sure there wasn’t another wasted second that went by without having others know of his absence. As I drove home, I started crying my eyes out and I screamed at God, “Please let me find him!! He’s my everything! You might as well take me too! Where did you hide him? Why are you doing this? This isn’t ok.” Then, I began to think of what my life would become once he’d been pronounced dead, what I would say at his funeral; and I asked myself how I would feel if we never found the body. Would I be able to move on? No, probably never. Yes, I would take the oath to never date again and live the rest of my life as a spinster. Hell, my grandmother was a widow for 40 plus years before she died and she never dated, remarried, or showed interest in anyone after my grandfather passed away. If she could do it, so can I.

Then, the call came through. It was Matt’s face that showed up on my phone. But, I didn’t even rejoice at first. I thought, what if it’s the police calling to tell me they found him dead, or that he’s at the hospital and probably won’t make it? I picked up the phone and screamed, “HELLO?”

“Hi, what’s going on?” the other end answered back. It was Matt, he was alive…for now!

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? WHERE ARE YOU NOW? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?…” I went off. I’ve known Matt for almost 9 years now, and in all of those years I’ve NEVER, NOT ONCE, yelled at him. Unfortunately, that streak has been broken.

In the end, I went back to Matt’s apartment and we talked it over, but sweet Jesus did he scare me. It turns out that he was participating in one of his weekly activities, sailing down at the yacht club. He left his phone in one of the club’s lockers, thinking he would be back by noon. As it turns out, that wasn’t the case.

I spent the next few hours being as close to him as I could, hugging him, smelling him, cuddling with him. Good God, if you don’t know if you love someone, try thinking about what your life would be like without them, then you’ll know if you want them to stick around. It sounds stupid, but I realized that losing him would mean losing myself.

I also learned a few other things during that crazy day:
-Communication is so important, especially when you’re in a relationship: Terrible communication has got to be my number one pet peeve…and it’s probably why so many people piss me off! If you have plans and forget, that’s one thing, but if you deliberately ignore people because “you don’t feel like it,” then we can’t be friends anymore. I have a friend who gets invited to many things and just doesn’t respond. She figures, if she’s available that day, she’ll come, if she can’t, whatever. I’m sorry honey, but with that attitude, I can’t invite you to a big event… like my wedding. I understand if it’s just a bonfire where you don’t really need to RSVP, but if you NEVER respond to ANY event and you still won’t respond when people personally text you and ask, “hey, you comin?” Inappropriate. People have actually stopped inviting her to things because of her attitude. Be polite and at least give someone some sort of a response. Even if you don’t know right then, say it. Don’t make people assume! In the working world, shit like that doesn’t fly, and it shouldn’t in real life either.

-Worrying is interest paid on something that hasn’t happened: My dad literally says this to me all the time, but I don’t listen because it’s a part of my personality to freak out over just about everything. This is the part of me that I can’t stand. I work at a radio station part-time, and if you’ve ever worked in broadcast media, you know that those guys and gals are some of the calmest people on the planet. They have to be! There are hundreds of factors that can make everything NOT go as planned, and you have to have a plan B while being calm about it. You just need to take things one week at a time, one day at a time, and then one moment at a time. And just remember, if there is a lack of preparation on someone else’s behalf, then there should not be any case of urgency on yours. Try your best to live in the moment, sniff out danger, but it is OK to let some things fall by the wayside.

What about you? Are you a worrier? How do you deal with your worries?

Granny Smith – over and out

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32 thoughts on “Text, Call, FREAK OUT, Repeat

  1. I do this ALL the time. Glad I’m not the only one.

    Oh AND poor communication is one of my biggest pet peeves too! That “friend” of yours would get a piece of my mind real quick! LOL.

  2. My husband RELUCTANTLY has a mobile phone, He NEVER has it switched on, he always forgets to charge it, so on the rare occasion I need to contact him I never can. I have given up worrying…..

  3. Glad to know there are others too 😉
    I just try to cope with my “deficiency” but have no magic potion for it!
    I wish I could just wave it away but it’s not the case.
    Thanks for sharing this most valuable post.

  4. My take on “relationship communication” is probably the opposite of yours.

    There is a guy who sits next to me in the office who is on the phone with his wife at least 3 or 4 times a day every day. Frankly – this is pathetic and IMHO this is a clear sign of a POOR relationship. From the one-half of the conversation that I overhear it seems that they cannot make a move in their respective lives without consulting with each other, even for simple little personal things (and they are often picking and sniping at each other). This is not only pathetic, it is downright sick. I rarely talk to my wife during the day unless it is for something truly important that simply cannot wait until the evening. She will start a 2nd-shift job soon, and then I probably won’t get to talk to her much at all in-between the weekends. Oh, and for the record, my wife and I have been happily married for over 30-years.

    A healthy relationship is about 2 INDIVIDUALS going through life together, not some romantic clap-trap about a Greater Whole. If the two people cannot function in the world independently of each other, then the “relationship” is surely doomed to crash and burn – and sooner rather than later.

    • John,

      I do agree with you. My boyfriend and I live an hour apart and we don’t talk every day. Heck, we only see one another about once a week at most. I have also known co-workers to sit on the phone and talk to their spouses while at work, and I don’t find that to be very healthy either.

      However, in my case, some communication like a quick text saying “hey i’m going here, don’t wait for me” would have been appreciated. 🙂

  5. RSVP is especially appreciated when major food preparation is involved. My biggest worry came when I asked my wife to call me as soon as she got to work. It was raining pretty heavily outside, and, despite the short 10 minute drive, it was a concern. After about an hour, I called her but talked to her message box. I called her boss, who hadn’t seen her but figured she was performing activities with seniors somewhere in the building. Later she called me back and told me she initially got caught up with conversing with folks, which led to her regular job functions. What a relief! Thanx for this post and for visiting my blog. Peace.

  6. That’s a great question you ask in the end. How does one deal with one’s worries?

    I suppose before we explore the aspect of dealing, one needs to fathom what is it that is behind our worries? Is it our imagination running wild in technicolour? Is it something to do with how we have wound up being in life? What do you think?

    I believe the genesis of “Worry” is the attachments we hold inside. Since we obviously cannot choose to sever these attachments, which may me so intrinsic to our well being, what else could we do? I would look forward to your thinking about this.

    Cheers

    Shakti

  7. Thank you for supporting my blog. I look forward to reading the rest of your posts. They seem quite energetic, fun, and well written. I have been lucky on the “worry” side of things but I know a lot who think an asteroid may strike their home at any given moment. 😉 Great post and I hope you have a worry-free week!
    Regards– Dustin

  8. Whoa – – why did our mother’s separate us at birth?!? 😉 So do you also have a field day with Web MD? Seriously, thank you for following my blog and I love what I found here….you write with a style and wisdom well beyond your years!
    Stephanie

  9. My father is retired FBI. I once left my house and left a hot cup of coffee on the counter. I forgot my parents were stopping by to drop something off en route to their home. Because a hot cup of coffee was left on the counter and they discovered my bed hadn’t been made my dad’s FBI brain deduced – I’d left my home hastily due to an emergency.
    I returned to my home to find both mom and dad nervous wrecks and their hands on phones calling hospitals…
    I’ve decided not to worry…when I feel worry coming on I simply repeat Stephen King’s words from Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living or get busy dying.” This line helps me loads…
    AnnMarie 🙂
    Terrific post!

  10. I understand. That is why facebook drives me up the wall. I hear crickets chirping there a lot. I am one of those people who replies to every comment and wonders why others won’t do the same thing. Thanks for sharing this post, and thank you for following my blog.

    Blessings,
    Theresa

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