Moving Out; Moving On

For the past two years, I’ve slept in my room at my childhood home, with my parents and sibling only a few feet away. We were a family again, a team.

Recently, I joined a new team. I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend of nearly seven years. It’s strange because the last time we lived in the same zip code was eight years ago. We’ve gone from living most of our time together apart to sharing the same space and belongings.

My parents helped us move in, and we got most of our items in order fairly quickly. But that first night is when it hit me; just like the day they dropped me off at college. I was almost as sad as they were. Even though I knew I would see them that upcoming weekend, it felt strange not living with them.

And on that first night in our new place, I started shedding a few tears. His head was on my chest, and I quickly wiped them away. But, as the evening wore on, I couldn’t stop thinking about what my family was doing, and how, at this moment, I should be with them. So, more tears started falling, until I eventually couldn’t take it and ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and sobbed.

My boyfriend, Matt, then opened the door and took a seat on the floor next to me. He tried to wipe away the tears and get me to confess what had made ounces of water stream down my face. I just can’t tell him, I thought, it’s so stupid. I miss my family? Seriously!? We’d been waiting for ages to be able to live together, and now that we’ve finally gotten the chance to, I miss my old living situation?

Instead of asking more questions, he took me into his chest and cradled me like a child. He told me jokes, and I looked up at his face and laughed at each one.

More than two months have gone by, and I’m happy to report that my first night in the apartment was the only night I thought about my family and cried. Thank goodness that didn’t stay consistent, and, neither has other aspects of our relationship.

We argue now more than we ever have in the past. I can’t stand it when clothes and other belongings are left lying around in the open, or when things like toothpaste and other bottles aren’t put back in their original cabinets, yet, these situations occur all the time. We go back-and-forth about what to do for dinner, what’s happening this weekend, upcoming vacations, friends, when we should see our families again; everything is a one, big discussion. Decisions used to be easy for us; maybe it was because we had a while to plan it out before we saw one another.

Sometimes, we come home and go our separate ways. This part is still weird for me because prior to living together, every moment we got to spend around each other was sacred. Now, we’ve become so used to seeing each other all the time that it’s as if we think, eh, we’ll hang out later. And, maybe because it’s summer, we seem to have our own schedules and activities on the weekends. Recently, I booked a dinner cruise for the two of us, just so that we could get the chance to reconnect. The cruise lasted two hours, but it felt like we barely got a, “how you doin?’” in there.

If I’m making it sound like everything has just been awful, it hasn’t! I feel more connected to Matt than I have in the last seven years. I like that we can start making bigger decisions together about bills, home décor, how we spend our time, and more. I also love the fact that I get to sleep next to him every night, even though we’re both bed hogs. And, yes, we can have sex every day if we feel like it! Our neighbor upstairs may not like it, but we can do it if we want!!

More than anything, I just love the fact that he’s here, and that I can feel his presence…even if we’re not in the same room together…like right now. Currently, he’s just a shout away, instead of a phone call and 45 minutes…ah, priceless.

Granny Smith – over and out

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18 thoughts on “Moving Out; Moving On

  1. Don’t cave on the little annoyances! We trade things we hate to do: if I hate putting the soap in the washing machine (it’s too damn complicated here) then he does that, and I take care of the drying and folding. But you share a space – both need to recognise that and act like it, out of respect for the other.
    And yeah, I’m as jealous as your neighbours! After 10 years the bloom is off the rose, so to speak! Enjoy it as much and as often as you can!

  2. Teething is right, all great relationships take time to develop. You both will learn how to work with each others weaknesses. They wont really go away, until you both understand each other FULLY.
    Just dont expect perfection in a relationship. As long as you are both commincating, we both will come to an understanding.

  3. I nominated you for the 3 Day quote challenge! You’re such a lovely writer that I was sure you would have some really wonderful quotes. Check it out and join in if you’d like.

  4. I honestly feel this; however, in my case, my boyfriend and I just split up yesterday and I’m waiting while looking at unpacked boxes for monday which is when i’ll be moving back in with my parents.
    It really is hard living with your significant other
    there is no personal space
    but, it seems that what you’re doing is great because you guys are working it all out! i’m happy for the two of you!

  5. I’m not married and since I left my parents’ house, I’ve only shared my space with roommates and I get very territorial with my stuff. I’ll probably be very hard to live with when the time comes. All the best to you guys as you work through the kinks.

  6. Hi Granny Smith, thanks for this raw, and beautifully written blog post! Also, I am humbled that you followed my blog. It’s priceless. Thank you!

  7. I know exactly what you mean! That first day I moved out, I cried. Just thinking about how different things would be and I felt like I was just leaving my family behind. Such a hard transition! But it got better with time 🙂

  8. This is so much fun! I still sucked my thumb when my husband and I got married 33 years ago. We still have feisty, funny confrontations. A short while ago I shouted at him to stay in the study while the floor dried and I watched my program. While he was in there he did something that messed with the internet and I wanted to stab him with my knife as I was writing this comment…:)

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